Pheromone, My Lovely
by sanalayla
Summary: Based on the episode from LnC... the same basic scenario, but it's Smallville style. What if Lois were under the influence of a love potion and thought she was in love with Clark? CLOIS
1. Chapter 1

**PART ONE**

"Ugh, I _hate_ Valentine's Day," Lois declared, making a face at the red and white balloons adorning the entrance of the mall. She turned to Chloe and grimaced. "Have I mentioned that? I hate Valentine's Day."

Chloe rolled her eyes, opening the door and holding it open for Lois. "Yes, you have – thirteen times today, to be exact."

"Well, I just want to make sure it sinks in. This is a _huge_ favor I'm doing for you and I don't want you to minimize it, okay?"

"I know – I'm already doing your laundry for a month," Chloe reminded her. She picked up a soft cotton sweater vest and held up thoughtfully. "What about this?"

"You're kidding me, right? No wonder you need my help – you _do_ suck at picking presents." Lois reached out and snatched the sweater from her hands. She dropped it back on the pile distastefully and steered her cousin away from the men's section of the department store.

"Hey, he loves those kinds of sweaters," Chloe replied defensively. "And it's not like I suck at getting presents for girls – just for guys. I can never figure out what they want."

Lois stopped walking and looked at Chloe curiously. "Is that why you didn't get anything for Clark on his last birthday? I was wondering what the whole IOU thing was about."

"Hey, those IOUs are quite expensive you know!" Chloe shot back. Then she started laughing and admitted, "Okay, yeah, I had no clue what to get him. I mean, what could he possibly _need_?"

Lois shrugged and turned away to look at a case full of watches. "Sometimes it's not about what a person needs. Sometimes a present can just basically say that you're thinking about the person and you care about 'em."

She was so focused on a particular black watch in the case, she missed the speculative look that Chloe was giving her.

"So, is that what the journal meant? That you were thinking about Clark?" Chloe asked, in an off-hand manner. She didn't want to freak Lois out with her line of questioning.

Startled by her words, Lois turned to focus on her. Her eyes widened in horror at the implication of Chloe's casual remark. "God no – I just got that for him because I couldn't think of anything else. When all else fails, get something affiliated with writing – you should have gotten him a pen."

"So you're saying that you would have gotten _anyone_ a leather journal, with their initials monogrammed on the cover, for a birthday present? It had nothing to do with Clark, at all?" Chloe asked, with a raised brow. She didn't bother to hide that she didn't believe Lois's assertion that the present was meaningless.

Lois didn't bat an eyelash. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm telling you. Journals are the gifts of choice for Lanes everywhere. You're gonna be getting one for your birthday, too."

With that, Lois walked closer to the make-up counter and picked up a lipstick, opening the cap to examine the color closely.

Chloe shook her head, grinning ruefully. She wasn't going to get anything out of Lois, now. She tried one last thing. "Well, it may have been a generic gift, but Clark really liked it. He's already used up half of it. You'll probably want to get him another one for his _next_ birthday."

It worked. The lipstick clattered to the glass counter and Lois whipped around to face her. "He's been using it? Great."

"Yeah," Chloe nodded, amused by the interest in Lois's eyes. "But you didn't hear that from me. That's actually why you're helping me today, too."

Lois looked confused at the abrupt change in topic. "Ah… because Clark's writing in his journal?"

"No, because you managed to get a guy a present he actually liked. So, you gotta help me!! This is my first Valentine 's Day with a boyfriend and I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Relax, Chlo," Lois responded immediately. She dropped her arm around Chloe and gave her quick hug. "We'll find something. Jimmy's just lucky that he's got you – the present is just icing on the cake."

"Keep talking," Chloe replied cheekily. "You are fantastic for my ego. That's another reason you're here."

"Glad I could help," Lois said dryly. "Since I can't keep my own love life straight, the least I can do is help you with yours."

"Oh, Lois, I totally forgot." Chloe looked at her guiltily. "Is this too weird for you after breaking up with Oliver?"

Lois shrugged and shook her head. "It's okay – me not being with Oliver has nothing to do with my irrational hatred of Valentine's day. Even if I was with him, I was still going to be sitting at home."

Chloe highly doubted that. Knowing her cousin's ex-boyfriend, Oliver wouldn't have let Lois get away with that. He would have done something charming, romantic and over-the-top. And there was no way Lois didn't realize that. Chloe contemplated Lois for a second and came to a quick decision.

"Why don't you come with me and Jimmy?" Chloe suggested. "For dinner? I don't want you sitting at home alone tonight."

Lois glanced at her out of the corner of her eye, with an amused grin. "You want me to be the third wheel on your Valentine's date? With, as you put it, the first boyfriend you've ever had? What's wrong with you?" 

"There is nothing wrong with me," Chloe replied, with an answering grin. She trailed after Lois as they exited the department store into the main mall. "I just happen to love you more than I care about Jimmy. I'm not going to have you sitting at home by yourself, moping into a pint of Ben & Jerry's, while I'm out having fun."

"Well, that would never happen. I'm not the moping into Ben & Jerry's type," Lois pointed out. "I more of the 'let's go run five miles' type."

Chloe eyed Lois's tall, svelte figure critically. "So that's why you've lost weight! I was wondering."

Lois glanced down at her jeans and green t-shirt. "I have? Well that's a great bonus – I should break up with hot billionaires more often." 

Lois looked around and noticed a stall selling various perfumes and colognes. "How about some cologne or after-shave? It's a nice generic boyfriend present." She picked up a bottle and uncorked it. Taking a tentative sniff, she made a face and put it back on the counter.

To appease her, Chloe picked up a bottle and looked at the label. But she didn't give up. "What if I get you a date? Then you won't be a third wheel." Chloe suggested. 

Lois snorted. "You're kidding me, right? Any guy that agrees to go out on a blind date tonight -- on Valentine's day -- is definitely a loser. And I'm not in the practice of going out with losers." Lois thought for a second and then amended, "At least, not on purpose. If they turn out to be freaks or serial killers later on, it doesn't count."

Chloe started laughing. "Okay, well… how about Clark?" Before Lois could say anything, Chloe quickly added in a warning tone, "And don't call him a loser."

"Wasn't going to," Lois replied, her innocent words belied by the guilty look in her eyes. "But I will tell you that there is no way I'm going out with Smallville." 

"Why not? Give me one good reason why Clark Kent is not someone that would qualify as an excellent date," Chloe challenged her. "He's sweet, he's kind, he's nice, he's honorable and…"

"He's boring, he's boring, he's boring, and he's boring," Lois interjected. Chloe glared at her and Lois's tone softened. "Look, for what it's worth, I agree with you. Clark's a great guy. And he will make someone very happy one day. But I'm not the one it's gonna be, Chloe. He's not the sort of guy I want and I'm positive that I'm not the sort of girl he wants."

"And what sort of girl would that be?" Chloe asked sharply.

"I'll give you hint – the initials are L.L. and they don't stand for Lois Lane," Lois shot back sarcastically.

"Oh, you mean Lana," Chloe responded in a bored tone. She picked up another bottle and sprayed a bit of the cologne on a tester paper. "He's over her. It took over a decade, but it's finally happened." She gave a Lois a theatrically tortured look. "Trust me, I know. If there is anyone who knows the way Clark Kent feels about Lana Lang, it's me. Unfortunately." 

Lois couldn't help but grin at that. "That's fine. But I'm still not going out with him – it doesn't change the fact that Clark and I aren't compatible. We're just friends, Chloe." 

"But you could be so much more," Chloe argued. "I see these guys you go out with and all I can think is that there's this great guy right there and you won't even let yourself look at him properly."

"I look at him fine, Chloe. And I don't really think that there's much more to see," Lois answered in an amused tone. Her cousin's blatant attempts to set her up with Clark were becoming kind of funny.

Chloe gave her an odd look. "There's a lot more to Clark than you could realize, Lois. And that's part of the reason I want you guys to come with us tonight. Clark needs to get out, too. It'll be good for both of you to have an excuse to dress up, go out and have fun. We're all friends – don't you think hanging out with us tonight could be even a _little bit_ better than exercising all night?"

"Well…it wasn't going to be _all_ running – there was a hot bath and good mystery novel in there, too," Lois responded with a teasing grin. She blew her bangs out of her eyes and made a decision she knew she would regret later. "But, okay, fine – if it'll make you happy then I'll do it. Just as along as it's understood that it's not a date – we're just doing it for you."

"Perfect!" Chloe beamed at her happily. "Now I just have to convince Clark." 

"Wait – you didn't talk to him, yet?" Lois asked, appalled. "So, there's a chance he'll say no? Great, Chloe – that is _not_ going to be good for my ego."

"Oh, he won't say no," Chloe assured her. "Trust me."

Lois's brows shot up in surprise and she gave Chloe a quizzical look. Before Lois could get Chloe to explain how she was so certain that Clark would say yes, Chloe had turned away from her and was holding up a beautifully cut glass bottle. It looked hand-blown and was gorgeous. 

"What's that?" Lois gazed at the bottle, riveted by its beauty. "Even if the perfume smells bad, we should still get it – it's gorgeous."

Chloe nodded and gently removed the top, sniffing at the contents experimentally. Her eyes lit up. "It smells great. Lois, check it out."

Chloe thrust the bottle under her nose and Lois inhaled deeply. "Yeah, it does smell fantastic. You have to get it." Lois plucked it out of her hands and called out to the high schooler managing the cash register. "Hey, how much does this cost?"

"I don't know – just check the bottom," he said sullenly.

Lois flipped it over and saw that it had no price. "There's no sticker."

The tall, lanky boy slid off the stool, clearly irked that he had to exert himself to help a customer. He came closer to get a better look at the bottle. "Oh yeah, this one is five hundred bucks."

"Five _hundred_ dollars?" Chloe gasped. "What's so special about it?"

"It's made by this weird guy that owns his own apothecary in downtown Metropolis," the kid explained, perking up at a chance to gossip. "All of his stuff is more expensive, because he makes these things with special flowers and herbs." He leaned closer to them. "They say that no two of his perfumes are the same and that he knows how to do magic."

Lois and Chloe exchanged a look and both rolled their eyes at the same time.

"I think the only magic the guy's pulling off is making money disappear from people's wallets," Lois responded, with a raised brow. She carefully set the perfume back on the counter. "No thanks – we'll pass."

The two girls walked away, deep in conversation about what to get Jimmy and didn't notice the young, dark-haired woman that had come up to the teenage boy.

"Did you get it, Max?" The young woman glanced from right to left to make sure that no one was listening in on their conversation. 

"Yeah, Justine, I got it," he answered, pulling a brown paper bag out from under the counter. He handed it to her nervously. "I did everything you wanted, but I still don't understand _how_ you're going to use it. You'll never get that close to Lex Luthor."

His sister pulled the multi-colored bottle out the bag and stared at with a triumphant gleam in her icy blue eyes. "I don't need to get close to him – I just need to be in the same place as him. Every Valentine's day he goes to the exact same restaurant with his date, at the exact time. He's got a standing reservation. There's a private room just for him and his _victim_." Justine looked at Max coldly. "We're going to take advantage of that private room."

Max nodded quickly, glad that his sister hadn't gone off on a tangent about how Lex had dumped her the day after Valentine's. It had been four years, but the wound was still fresh – and she'd never let him forget it, either. 

"Okay, what do you need me to do?" Max asked, desperately hoping that whatever she intended to this with perfume would make her finally get over it and move on. "I'll do whatever you want." 

"I know you will," Justine gave him one of her fleeting smiles. "You're going release the perfume into the vent that feeds into the private room. The perfume should travel all over the room, and I'm going to make sure he's completely alone when the chemical hits. So, I'll be the first person he sees while he's under the influence of the perfume. He won't be able to resist me after that. The potion only lasts twenty four hours, but I'll just keep making sure I keep spraying more on every day."

"But what about his girlfriend? Lana Lang?" Max asked, with a confused look. "Won't she be there?"

Justine abruptly stopped looking happy. "I've taken care of her – the server that's going to sneak you and me into the restaurant has a crush on her. He'll distract her for us."

"Wow, Justine," Max said admiringly. "You thought of everything."

"I know," she replied smugly. Justine put the bottle back into the bag and handed it to Max. "Remember – you need to meet me with this at the back of Chez Alice at eight o'clock. Don't be late!"

"I won't," Max promised. As his sister stalked away, he had a moment of misgiving about the plan, but quickly dismissed it. After all, his sister came first. And if his sister managed to get Lex Luthor to fall madly in love with her, Max would definitely benefit – it wouldn't hurt to have a billionaire as a brother in law, after all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part Two**

Lois tried to wiggle around, but it didn't work. She tried jumping up and down, but that didn't work either. Her arms were at the most unnatural angle they'd ever been and nothing was working. She stomped over to the closet, trying to see if she could find a wire hanger, but realized the metal might tear the dress.

"Damn it!" Lois muttered in frustration, as she turned around to get a better look in the mirror.

Not that it did her much good – the problem was the same as it had been five minutes ago. The zipper was still stuck in the middle of her back. No matter how much she pulled and tugged, the tight dress wouldn't budge and she couldn't reach the zipper to pull it down or up. It was a lose-lose situation.

She was just about to give up and start ripping off the delicate midnight blue silk, when the doorbell rang. Suddenly, she remembered that Chloe was supposed to pick her up. Chloe was apparently early.

"Chloe! Thank God, could you help me…" Lois exclaimed, as she pulled the door open with one hand, while using the other to keep her dress up. Her eyes widened when she saw who was actually on the other side.

"…zip my dress up?" Lois finished lamely, while frantically trying to tug the sagging bodice higher up. Not that it mattered – even if it fell to the floor, it wasn't like it wasn't something that he hadn't seen before. In fact, last time he'd seen much, much more. 

Clark's eyes widened at her words and his eyes drifted down to her chest. And, in typical Clark-fashion, he immediately averted his gaze and fixed his eyes on something behind her. "Ah… Lois… sorry, it's not Chloe."

"Yes, I know that Clark – I think the whole dark hair and extra inches clued me in. Oh – and that fact that you're a guy." Lois rolled her eyes and reached out with her free hand to tug him in. "Hurry up – do we want to give my neighbors a free peep show?"

Clark stumbled in, but at her words he turned to face her and quickly closed the door. "No, of course not. What are you doing, anyway? Why aren't you ready?" 

Frustrated, Lois shook her head. Why was it that he could just never loosen up and have a normal conversation with her? No asking how she was doing, no wondering why her dress was falling down. No, instead he either didn't meet her gaze or he was looking right at her and asking dumb questions. Another lose-lose situation. 

"In case you hadn't noticed, Smallville, I'm a bit of a predicament," Lois said slowly, like she was talking to a young child. "My zipper's stuck. Can you help me fix it and pull it up?" Lois didn't wait for a response and just whirled around, presenting her bare back to him. She glanced back over her shoulder and added, "Make sure you don't tear the material – it's really delicate."

Lois waited for a good thirty seconds, but nothing happened. Not a sound came from Clark and he didn't move any closer to her. She turned back around impatiently. "Clark, could you step it up a bit? We haven't got all night, you know." 

Clark was glued to the spot he'd been in before and he was staring at her with the oddest expression in his eyes. If she didn't know any better she would have thought he wanted to kiss her or something equally bizarre. But the fact was, she did know better and she knew that Clark Kent was not going to suddenly develop a deep desire for her because he'd seen a glimpse of her strapless black bra. It all just stemmed from the fact that he was a boy scout and he didn't want to see bras that didn't belong to proper young ladies whom he was properly dating. Their non-date didn't qualify. Well, what could she do about it? If Chloe had been there, she'd have definitely asked Chloe – it wasn't her fault that he'd shown up instead.

The thought made her frown. "Clark, what are you doing here, anyway? I thought Chloe was supposed to come here and we'd meet you guys at Chez Alice. Where's Chloe?"

Clark swallowed and then cleared his throat. He made an effort to meet her gaze and responded in an odd voice. "Um, she got held up at the DP. So she asked me to pick you up – she and Jimmy will meet us there." His eyes slid back down for a second and then back up at her face. "Ah… your… ah… your dress is falling down."

Lois glanced down and realized that she'd unconsciously placed both of her hands on her hips – a stance she seemed to adopt quite a bit when she was around Clark Kent – and her bodice had slipped down, revealing a lot more than just a mere _glimpse_ of her black bra. Refusing to get flustered, Lois calmly yanked it back up with one hand and turned back around.

"Okay, so could you help me zip it up? I'd ask Chloe to do it, but it seems you're the only one around…."

Clark finally seemed to figure out that the best way to end the uncomfortable situation was to just help her, because he immediately moved right behind her. Two seconds later, she felt his hands on the small of her back, as he gently tugged and pulled at the small piece of metal.

Lois bit her lip, trying not to admonish him to be careful again, but couldn't help but think that there was no way he'd be able to do it without tearing the material. She'd seen on the farm when he thought she wasn't looking. He could pick up a bale of hay and toss it around like it was made of feathers. How could he manage to fix the zipper without breaking the thing?

Ultimately, her mouth lost the battle with her brain and she said sharply, "be careful, Smallville. This dress is really expensive."

Clark's hands stopped for a second and he didn't say anything. When he spoke, his voice was testy. "Lois, I am capable of doing a simple task without screwing it up, you know."

Lois tried to look back at him over her shoulder, but his hand at her waist stopped her from turning around. "That is not what I meant - " Lois started.

"Okay, fine," Clark interrupted. "Just stop moving or this'll take forever."

His hands started working at the stuck zipper again and, after a minute, she felt it give way. He started to zip the dress shut, but stopped after a second. "Um… your hair. It's in the way."

"Oh, sorry!" Lois exclaimed, a bit more loudly than she'd intended.

She'd worn it loose for the occasion, but maybe it hadn't been such a good idea. She was just about to sweep it aside, when Clark lifted up the strands of her hair and brushed them gently over her shoulder. An involuntary shiver danced up her spine when her bare skin was exposed to the cold apartment air. The coldness was immediately replaced by warmth, when Clark placed one hand on her waist and used the other to pull the zipper up the rest of the way.

"There, you're done," Clark said softly, as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

Lois stood still for a moment, wondering what was going on and why his hands felt so good. She could feel her body tingling with an odd sort of awareness. _You're losing it, Lane. It's just because of all that talk with Chloe about Valentine's day. The holiday was meant to screw with single women's minds – exactly one of the reasons why you hate it._

Lois spun around and gave him a quick, nervous grin, simultaneously shrugging off his hands. "Great! Thanks!" She said brightly and reached around him to pick up her pashmina wrap. "We should get going – the reservation's for eight, right? And Chez Alice is notorious for turning people away if they don't show on time."

Clark didn't respond. Instead he stood silently in the center of the room, with an odd look on his face, as he waited for her to finish grabbing everything she needed for the evening.

Once she'd gathered everything, Lois turned to him and asked, "My car or yours?"

"We can take yours – I don't think my truck can live up to that dress," Clark replied, with a flash of a teasing grin, as he thrust his hands into his pockets.

Lois smirked. "Fine – it doesn't matter, anyway, 'cuz I would have been driving even if we were taking your truck."

She couldn't resist accompanying her words with a light punch to his arm. As usual, he winced and pretended it hurt.

Lois rolled her eyes and shook her head. "C'mon, Kent. There's a lobster with my name all over it and you're holding me up."


	3. Chapter 3

**Part Three**

"And then she climbed the tree right after him," Lois declared, with a grin.

Jimmy leaned forward a bit, laughing along with everyone else at the table. "What did the kid do?" He looked at Chloe, who was unsuccessfully trying to control her blush.

"He didn't do anything," Chloe responded quickly, before Lois could finish the story. She shot Lois a warning look. "Lois is _done_ with the story. All stories related to my childhood, in fact."

Clark had kept silent, for the most part, but now he couldn't resist. "Really? Because I could I jump in where Lois left off -- where'd we end?" He turned to Lois as though seeking clarification. "Age nine, right? Well, I've got a story from when Chloe was ten --."

"CLARK!" Chloe moaned, resting her head in her hands.

Lois started laughing, but couldn't help but look at Clark with a hint of surprise. Then again, he'd been surprising her all night. After the fiasco with her dress, she'd thought he would clam up and be impossible to spend time with all evening. But he'd actually been relaxed and charming. As charming as Clark Kent could be, at any rate. She leaned back in her seat and took a sip of her ice water, analyzing him over the rim of her glass. _He looked good._

The suit he was wearing was dark blue with pin stripes and accentuated his blue-green eyes. It was expensively cut, showing off his perfect physique and lent him air of maturity she typically didn't associate with him. The suit was new – Lois knew this because she'd been with his mother when Martha had purchased four of them for Clark to wear to all the senatorial functions Martha was forced to attend. This was the first time she'd ever seen Clark voluntarily wearing one. 

"…So she actually fell asleep under the desk," Clark declared, with a flash of his charming grin.

Jimmy's answering laugh broke Lois out of her reverie and she realized, with a start, that she'd missed the whole story. She'd been too busy looking at Clark. _What is wrong with me? Since when do I check out Smallville?_

"Okay, enough is enough. Can we talk about anything other than me? I realize that you all know me, but we can talk about other things. Anything, anything at all," Chloe pleaded, her cheeks a bright pink.

"C'mon, Chloe, it's fun," Jimmy responded with an affectionate pat on her shoulder. "I like hearing these stories about you – helps me get to know you better." 

"You don't need to know me better – at least not like this," Chloe said flatly and added, "It's not fair, it's not like I've got two of your best friends sitting there reciprocating with embarrassing stories from _your_ childhood."

"I'm not the one who invited them along on our date, you did," Jimmy pointed out, no longer smiling. "If I'd known this was a group date, I'd have brought along friends, too."

And awkward silence fell over the table after his comment and Clark shifted a bit uncomfortably in his seat. Lois's gaze narrowed on her cousin's face, which had now flushed to a deeper red. She'd had a feeling that Jimmy wouldn't be okay with the additions to his Valentine's Day dinner and his words confirmed it. But then that begged the question as to why Chloe had invited them along.

Abruptly, Lois stood up and announced, "Well, I need to go the ladies' room. This nose won't powder itself, you know." She turned to Chloe. "Wanna come with me?"

Chloe hastily stood up, almost knocking down her chair in the process. "Yes, of course." 

As Lois led the way to the back of the restaurant, she heard Clark say, "Why is it that women can never go alone? I've never understood that." She didn't hear Jimmy's response, but she couldn't help but grin at Clark's confusion.

Lois waited until they'd cleared the corner before turning to pounce on her cousin. "Chloe, what's the deal? Didn't you clear this with Jimmy first?"

Chloe shrugged uneasily. "Why would I need to clear it with him first? I just turned a normal date into a double date. What the big deal?"

"Because it's _Valentine's Day_," Lois explained and rolled her eyes. She hit the revolving door leading to the opulent ladies room. "This is the night where a normal date holds much more significance. Another reason not to celebrate the occasion, by the way," Lois added, as she pulled out her lipstick from her tiny clutch. Her eyes met Chloe's in the mirror and she made a face. "Jimmy does not want us tagging along on this day – you weren't kidding about being clueless about guys, were you?"

Chloe leaned against the marble sink and crossed her arms, her brows furrowed in confusion. "I don't know, Lois. I just feel like things are going too fast. I figured if you and Clark came then it would be more comfortable."

"Too fast?" Lois looked at Chloe incredulously and smirked. "No, what happened between you two that summer you hooked up with him was _too fast_. This time you're actually taking it slow."

"I don't know," Chloe looked unconvinced. "I guess. It's still going way too fast for me."

"Do you like him?"

"Yes," Chloe answered without hesitation. She grinned a bit. "He's cute, he's funny and he's smart. I like him a lot."

Lois finished retouching her lipstick and turned to Chloe. "Then you have to be honest with him. Don't try to hide behind me or Clark -- don't try to play all these games. If you like him and he likes you, then just tell it like it is. Works out a lot better in the long term."

Chloe eyed her skeptically. "And you're saying this from the wealth of experience you've had with successful relationships?"

"Hey, you can never say that I broke up with those guys because of lack of communication," Lois shot back, with a raised brow. "I never hide behind anything."

"Except your sarcasm, your lack of sensitivity, your inability to commit and your stubbornness," Chloe listed, her eyes sparkling in amusement. 

Lois thought for a second. "That's not me hiding. That's just my personality." She grinned and grabbed her bag from the sink. "C'mon, let's head back. I'll get Clark and we'll leave so you guys can have some privacy."

Chloe followed Lois out to the hall, protesting, "We don't need privacy. You can stay."

Suddenly, Lois heard voices coming from a different hallway to the right and she stopped. Chloe crashed into her, but before Chloe could say anything, Lois turned sharply and motioned for the younger girl to be quiet.

Lois pressed back against the wall, trying to decipher what the two people were saying. She recognized the first voice belonging to Damien Skylar – a shady businessman she'd been investigating the past week. Who was he talking to? Her silent question was answered a couple of seconds later.

"I don't care how hard it is. I just want it done. You didn't seem to have these ethical issues when you worked with my father, Mr. Skylar. Why the sudden issues with morality now?" 

Lois felt disgust curl in her stomach and she rolled her eyes. The pompous, smooth, oily voice could only belong to one man. _Lex Luthor._ Silently, she opened the clutch in her hand and eased her cell phone out. After pressing a few buttons, she held it up as close as she could get it the voices. She turned and saw that Chloe was walking silently back towards the other hallway to make sure no one was coming.

She continued to record the conversation for several minutes, until she felt Chloe tap her on the shoulder. Lois looked back and Chloe mouthed silently, "Someone's coming!"

Snapping the cell phone shut, Lois glanced around and realized there was no way for them to leave the hallway without Lex finding out that they'd been eavesdropping. After a couple of seconds, she noticed a dark, paneled door across the hall from them and she moved forward to open the door, pulling Chloe in after her. 

They pressed themselves against the door, waiting until they heard the footsteps walk past and fade. Once she was satisfied no one was coming in after them, she breathed a sigh of relief and turned to the face the room, her fingers fumbling for the switch. As light flooded through the room, Lois blinked a few times to adjust to the sudden brightness.

Chloe looked around and exclaimed in a whisper, "Oh no, we need to get out of here."

"Why?" Lois shot her a confused look. "Let's give it a few minutes – the hallway should be clear and we'll head out."

"No," Chloe grabbed her shoulder and her eyes widened as she explained, "This is where he's coming. This is Lex's private room." 

"What do you mean?" Lois answered warily.

"This is where he brings all his Valentine's dates. He's been doing it for years. It's a private room they set up just for him." 

"Every year? How classy," Lois remarked sarcastically, as she cast her gaze about the room. It was definitely set up for a nice, cozy candlelight dinner for two. Three walls each had linen covered bouquet tables set up before them. One with flowers and candles and the others with presents and various desserts.

Lois wrinkled her nose in distaste at the ostentatious display. "So this year Lana's the lucky girl? Does she know he does the same thing every time?"

Chloe shrugged. "Even she did, I doubt she'd care. She has a tendency to let Lex get away with a lot of stuff." 

Lois shook her head slowly. "How that girl went from Clark Kent to Lex Luthor, I'll never understand. They're as different as night and day."

"Maybe that's why she did it," Chloe countered, with an odd look. "And, remember, Clark dumped _her_."

"That's true," Lois agreed. She was about to add her thoughts on _that_ but she was interrupted by a sound outside the door.

The two girls looked at the turning handle and then each other. Without a word, they both dove straight for the nearest hiding place –Lois tucked herself under the table on the left side of the room, registering that Chloe had done the same on the other side.

Once she'd checked to make sure that she was completely covered by the linens, she breathed a sigh of relief. She heard the door open and the sound of people entering the room.

After a second, the feeling of relief quickly turned to dismay when she realized what she'd just done. Lois almost groaned when she thought about how much harder it was going to be to get out of the situation now. Before they could have just told Lex that they'd wandered into the wrong room. How were they going to explain being under the table? Not for the first time, Lois cursed herself for not thinking things through.

She was just about to crawl out and face the music, so the speak, when she heard someone speak. But it wasn't Lex - it was a woman.

"So you've got it, right? And you know where to feed it through? It'll come in through that vent."

A young man answered her, his voice sounding nervous. "Yeah. But I don't understand why you have to hide in here first. I mean, can't you just come in later?"

Absolute silence met his question. When the woman finally replied, her voice was like ice. "Did I ask for your opinion, Max? You're nothing in this. It's all me. If you must know, I can't risk the perfume getting out of the room."

"Of course, Justine," the boy answered quickly. "You go hide behind the drapes. I'll release the perfume in exactly five minutes."

"Make sure you wear the nose plugs," the woman replied, her voice suddenly soft and oozing with concern. "I don't want us to be affected. It'll defeat the whole purpose."

Lois swallowed, wondering what the hell they were talking about. One thing was sure – the woman was definitely kind of crazy. Lois considered her options, trying to figure out if she could manage to slide out from under the table and take on the crazy woman at the same time.

"Where are they?" Jimmy asked, drumming his fingers against the tablecloth.

Clark shook his head and frowned. "I have no idea. It shouldn't be taking them this long."

"Do you think we need to be worried?" Jimmy said, looking confused. "I've heard some weird things about Metropolis. And Chloe does have a tendency to get into trouble."

"Yeah, so does Lois." Clark thought about it for a second and then nodded. "You stay here, I'll go look for them."

"I'll come with you." Jimmy stood up to follow Clark.

Clark hesitated, wondering how to dissuade him from coming along. It would be easier and faster if he went alone. "Why don't I just go alone and you can wait for them here?"

"Why would I do that? Besides, I'm sure we're overreacting anyway."

Clark didn't bother to tell him that they probably weren't. Not if their track record was any indication. At this point, the two women could have been kidnapped or worse. Clark sighed, resigning himself to having to use his powers in front of Jimmy – while hiding it from the young man at the same time.

Clark led the way towards the back, using his x-ray vision to scan the various rooms as they walked through the hallways. They turned into the hallway leading towards the women's restroom and one quick glance showed him it was empty. He was just about to start getting even more worried when he noticed another room in the hallway.

Clark x-rayed it and realized that Lois and Chloe were in the room – each hiding under a table. And a third person he didn't recognize was in the back of the room -- just standing there against the wall. What was going on? He focused his hearing and heard the sound of three hearts pounding in either excitement or fear.

Clark shook his head, completely baffled. He turned to Jimmy and said casually, "Um… there's a room here. Let's check that out."

Jimmy shot Clark a bemused look. "But, CK, we passed ten other rooms – why didn't we check those out?"

"This one's closest to the restroom," Clark explained vaguely, as he turned the handle and let them both into the room.

The room was set up for a dinner for two. And, as Clark already knew, no one was in sight. How was he supposed to convince Jimmy to check under the tables against the walls? Maybe the best bet was to just not explain. He kept waiting for either Lois or Chloe to come out on their own, but neither one of them did. Maybe they were hiding from the woman behind the drapes in the back -- who seemed to hiding herself. Clark held back a sigh, giving up on figuring it out. Why was it that no day could just be normal?

One thing was clear. If they were hiding, it was probably for a good reason and he wasn't going to be the one who outed them. He grabbed Jimmy's arm and pointed towards the table where Chloe was hiding. Clark silently explained that Jimmy should be quiet and get Chloe out. When Jimmy had understood and nodded, Clark moved towards Lois's table Lois, thinking of the best way to pull her out without making a sound. He knelt down and flipped the linen up, trying to hold back a grin when Lois immediately lifted her fingers to her lips to tell him to be quiet. Clark rolled his eyes. What did she think he'd been doing?

As he reached out and helped Lois ease her way out from under the table, a pleasant scent wafted through the air. Clark couldn't help but take a deep, appreciative breath. The room suddenly smelled heavenly. He looked down at Lois, whose hazel eyes had widened as she stared up at him. Was it his imagination or was she moving closer to him? Her hands slid up his arms until they reached his shoulders. Was she feeling dizzy? Was she hurt?

"Smallville?" Lois whispered his name almost like a question.

"Yes, Lois?" Clark replied with concern, wondering why she so touchy feely all of a sudden. Lois never hugged him or leaned into him for support.

Before Lois could answer, they were interrupted by the door banging open. Clark turned to the door with a start, immediately tightening his hold on Lois, just in case there was a problem.

Lana strode into the room, her long black hair flowing behind her and her voice raised in anger. "So this is it, huh, Lex? You couldn't even do anything different for me? This is how you respect me?"

"No, Lana, it's not like that…" Lex's voice was cajoling as he followed his petite girlfriend in.

Both of them abruptly stopped when they noticed Clark and Lois standing in the center of the room. 

Lana's eyes widened in surprise and, from what Clark could tell, more than a little horror. "Clark? What are you doing here?" 

Clark winced. Why was it that he could never save people without bumping into her? As it was, it was hard enough to convince Lana he was over her. Then things like this happened and it became even harder. He cleared his throat and started to give the standard speech he always did. "I was… um… here…."

"With me," Lois jumped in, her voice oddly breathless. She hooked her arm through his and beamed up at him. "We're together. And we're in love."

Clark choked and glanced down at her, looking for a sly wink or mocking smile. There was none – Lois looked perfectly serious. He looked back at his ex-girlfriend and ex-friend and realized that Lana hadn't taken her eyes off of him. And her eyes were full of pain.

"How can you be with her, Clark? When I'm still in love with you? You know we're meant to be, Clark," Lana pleaded, coming closer to stand right in front of him.

"What?" Aghast, Clark took a step back, pulling Lois along with him since she hadn't released her death hold on his arm. Frantically, he looked around for Chloe or Jimmy and closed his eyes when he saw where they were. Chloe was sitting on the table, her legs wrapped around Jimmy's waist while they made out. Great, just great. She picked this time to take her relationship to the next level.

He was just about to tell Lois that they needed to get out of there, when Lex finally spoke.

"What the hell is going on?" Lex asked, voicing the question that Clark had been thinking since the moment he'd walked into the room.

"I have no idea," Clark replied, taking a step back from Lana again. Again, Lois went with him, eerily silent.

"Lana," Lex reached out and grabbed her arm. "How can you still love him? You know we're better together."

Lana turned around and sneered. "I was only with you because I couldn't have Clark. We both know that you're just a substitute."

"But I love you more than I've ever loved anyone in my life," Lex protested.

Clark was horrified to see that Lex was almost in tears. If there was one thing he could say about the time he spent pining after Lana – he'd never cried for her. Or had he? He sure as hell wished he hadn't. He considered telling Lex that Lana wasn't worth it, but decided it would be too mean.

"You've ruined it! You've all ruined it all!" A woman's voice screeched in Clark's ear. He turned to look at the new addition to the group and realized it was the young woman who'd been hiding behind the drapes. The one Chloe and Lois had been hiding from.

"Who are you?" Lex asked, again voicing what Clark had just been about to say.

The woman's face twisted into a bitter grimace at Lex's question. "You don't know who I am? Of course you don't. What was I thinking?" She cast a speculative look at Lana, who was trying, unsuccessfully, to get closer to Clark. Suddenly, she grinned triumphantly. "Or maybe this was for the best. Now you'll see, Lex. You'll see what it's like to pine. To love someone and have them never love you back. To know that she'll never be yours, no matter what you do."

Lex gave her a blank look. "No, seriously. Who are you?"

"No one of importance. Just someone who finally got her revenge," the woman purred, trailing her fingers lightly down Lex's arm. She moved past him towards the door and said to Clark, over her shoulder, "Good luck. You're going to need it."

Clark blinked in surprise. What did she mean? He glanced down at Lois, noticing the smile she was giving him and the way she was holding onto his arm. Then he looked at Lana and Lex, who were arguing about love in the corner. He risked a brief glance at Chloe and Jimmy, noting with relief that their clothes were still on. But just barely.

Clark was starting to get an idea of what all this meant, but he had to make sure. He turned Lois to face him and said, "Ah… what are the chances you'll wait here while I go check something out?"

"Absolutely none," Lois answered, without a moment's hesitation. But her words didn't have the sarcastic lilt they usually did. Instead, she added with a soft smile, "I'll come with you."

Clark stared at her for a moment, trying not to let the smile affect him. He knew, without a doubt, that it wasn't coming from her. But he couldn't help but wish that at least a little bit was actually Lois. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, trying to think of the best way to handle her.

Finally, he just picked Lois up and sat her gently on one of the tables. "I'll be right back," he promised, as he backed out of the room. The maneuver had worked once when he was Kal, so hopefully it would work again. He sped out of the door after the woman who'd just left. He skidded to a halt in front of her and reached out a hand to stop her.

"Wait!" Clark said, pretending to huff and be out of breath. After a few seconds of acting, he straightened up and asked, "What's going on in there? What did you do?"

Instead of being frightened or wondering where he'd come from, the woman just gave him a smug smile. "Why do you care? Your girlfriend still chose you. She still wants you. In fact, so does the other one. Most men would envy you."

"I'm not most men," Clark replied sternly. He moved closer to her, towering over her in what he hoped was an intimidating manner. "What did you do?"

"I released a love potion in the air," she admitted, with a casual shrug. "I wanted Lex Luthor to fall back in love with me. To get revenge."

"A love potion?" Clark repeated faintly, with a groan. Great, just what he needed. A possessed Lois Lane. Why did this always happen to him? He ignored the grand plan to get revenge on Lex – it seemed that was usually the cause for a lot of his problems. "What does it do – does it just makes people fall randomly in love with each other?"

"No," she answered patiently. "It works on existing desires and makes them stronger. Like your girlfriend – she already likes you, so this just pushed her over the edge to love. She wouldn't have had the same reaction if she'd seen Lex first. Unless she desires Lex or feels any sort of attraction to him."

"Lois has never desired Lex," Clark shot back quickly. "That would never happen." 

The woman studied him for a moment with an amused smile. "It was an example. I don't think you need to worry – it's quite obvious she's attracted to you. That's why the potion worked on her when she saw you and breathed it in at the same time."

Clark swallowed, thinking of the ramifications of what the woman was telling him. He couldn't even wrap his mind around it. There were times he thought – he'd dared to think – that Lois felt something for him. But he never let himself really travel down that path. But now, if this woman was right – what was he supposed to do?

"Give me the antidote," Clark finally said. "It's not fair to them."

"I can't," she replied, with another shrug. "Just like the only thing that kills love is time – it's the same with the potion. It only lasts for twenty four hours."

"You're kidding, right?" Clark asked, somewhat desperately.

"I'm not – it'll only last for twenty four hours," she repeated and then added slyly, "that is, if they don't get hit with another dose."

Clark gave her a hard look. "That's not going to be happening. You're not going to be using it again."

"Or what? You'll run after me?" The woman crossed her arms and glared up at him. She didn't look intimidated in the least.

Clark stared down at her for a moment with a frown. Then he smiled a bit. "Did the thought ever occur to you that I _wasn't_ affected by the potion?"

For a second, her confident veneer cracked. "So? What does that mean?" 

"Just think about it for a second," Clark replied easily, steering her towards the side exit. "Trust me, I'm capable of a lot of things. And stopping people from playing God is one of them." 

She mulled over his words as he guided her towards the snowy parking lot. Finally, she nodded begrudgingly, "Okay, fine. It doesn't matter, anyway. I already got what I needed – to make Lex Luthor suffer."

Clark couldn't help but roll his eyes, barely refraining from commenting that she was hardly the first one who'd tried to make Lex suffer. It never seemed to work. 

Satisfied that he'd gotten to the bottom of what was going on – and prevented the woman from moving on towards a career in serial love potioning – Clark headed back towards the restaurant. 

"Wait," she called out.

Clark glanced back towards her with a lifted brow. "What?"

"Just one word of advice – since you were so nice about it all," she said, with an odd smile. "I wouldn't leave her alone if I were you. People have a tendency to do stupid things when they're in love." 

Clark's eyes widened in horror at the thought of what that could mean and he sped back towards the room where he'd left Lois. He burst in, skidding to a halt when he saw the crazy scene before him. Lois and Lana were in the midst of a huge argument, with Lex piping in every now and then to defend Lana. Who, very clearly, didn't want his help. He sneaked a peak at the corner of the room and saw that Chloe and Jimmy had left.

He made his way to the small group slowly, praying with every inch that a huge chunk of Kryptonite would find its way towards his head right at the moment. Anything would be better than this.


End file.
